Growing up is a trap they say.
But what if it’s the solution to the problem? When am I able to consider myself grown up? I’ve most likely reached my final height and yet adulthood is nothing I can see within my reach, right? Some grow up faster than others because of things they survived because of loss they surrendered. Do I want to grow up?
Is it possible to never „grow up“ and therefore be childish forever?… Are the men in the suits the Captain Hooks of our century, scared of time and eager to get the treasure ? So many questions unanswered.
I googled the definition of grown up and one of the entries was: Being of age . In most countries that would mean that you are an adult by the age of eighteen. Yet eighteen year olds often don’t do things such as: responsible living, controlling their finances or taking responsibility for what the do. Becoming an adult can probably never be reached but I do believe that you can become a responsible human being with a mission to help the world and others while fulfilling your dreams.
I am starting my journey today. Making a big step towards being independent. I will be abroad for a good ten months studying and making connections. It’s of importance for me to travel and to get to know other cultures. And besides moving forward I think prioritizing is a big part of becoming the human you want to be. Children want everything at the same time without evaluating what they really need. I still WANT everything partly because I am impatient but also because one of my biggest weaknesses is not being able to make decisions. I can stand in a store thinking about buying something coming to the conclusion that I need to consult my mum before making a decision. At least it keeps me from making bad buys…
I made the decision to study somewhere else, to live with another family and to evolve as myself. Looking back it felt like nothing changed in the last school year and predicting the future it seems as if loads will happen next year. But my assumption about the last year was wrong! Because a friend pointed out to me that there were changes. Mostly though, subtle personality changes within the people. They „become adults“. Form opinions, explore themselves and their surroundings with the knowledge they have.
Sitting on your moms lap watching things happen sounds great sometimes especially when your problems seem to hunt you down… It would be easier resting in an everlasting stage of childhood but who wants a boring life. You’ll figure it out and as Peter Pan said: “You just have to believe it to make it happen.“
Create memories that will last you a lifetime and pick you up on days when you see no need in leaving the bed and wearing something that needs to be ironed.
What I await this year? I don’t know. For starters I’d like to be Zac Efrons girlfriend and get good grades. Just kidding. ( I try this thing called „funny“ sometimes and I don’t know if it works for me)
I want to find a voice.
as always see ya,