I started biting my fingernails in first grade because my already chubby fingers had to be made more disturbing to look at. It’s not like I didn’t want to stop, I just couldn’t. The biting happened sort of unconsciously (that’s a no brainer) without me making the decision but I eventually was able to reduce the biting to a minimum and only ever disrupted my nails and their appearance when I got stressed. Truthfully though, with exams every other week it was sort of a constant state, even if not as bad as in the beginning. As you may know, or not know, I was an exchange student in the US for a year and well, things changed.
I stopped counting after a while but the question coming up the most after my return was : ” Would you do it again?”, and my honest answer every time was :” I’d do it twice if it was an option!”
This year abroad taught me what it meant to be truly open-minded and aware of your surroundings every second of the way. (I am well aware of how cheesy this sounds)
Coming back on the other hand isn’t as easy-breezy (covergirl – (pop culture reference )) as you’d think. I’ve heard of the term reverse culture-shock but didn’t really take it seriously since I thought coming back to what I know and whom I know will be a piece of cake. Of course we all grew up and evolved into different directions but losing touch to people is really difficult especially if there is not much that you can do about it. I can still rely on my closest friends, but even with them I sometimes have to ask twice what they mean because I don’t get inside jokes or references let alone people I didn’t get to spend much time with in the first place yet I value and really like. On the other hand me talking about my life in Texas seems to be sort of unnecessary, especially if I go into details because it is hard to relate to something you haven’t experienced.
I was welcomed with open arms don’t get me wrong but it will take a while until I adapt again to what used to be “normal”. ( If I have the time before my next adventure 😉 Because really how much time can adapting take when the common denominator is a plane?
Going back to the thread I lost for a second or two, school was easier, life was an ongoing weekend and living seemed to be carefree (with some restrictions). My nails thank me , except for that one time I thought it would be a great idea to get acrylics for prom, *rolls eyes* but other than that I couldn’t have been luckier and am ready to master whatever is ahead (they say it’s a virgo thing that we are perfectionists). I was complimented today on my facial features after my return. A rather odd thing to hear but the further explanation was that I always looked sort of cold and rigorously ahead to my next task. I guess it shows that it is physically visible (no I am not talking about the common American-exchange weight gain) how good this year was for me and that life became a little brighter.
I heard something the other day that made me think: ” If you only woke up tomorrow with what you were grateful for today, what would you have?”
Some days I wouldn’t wake up breathing…, but I am , I am so utterly thankful and grateful for this, for my life and for everything that life has in store for me.
until next time of course,
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